Children and Grief: Guiding Young Hearts Through Loss
Helping children process loss with grace, presence, and truth
Grief is hard enough for adults to navigate. But for children, the experience of loss can be especially confusing. They may not yet have the language to name their feelings, nor the understanding to process what has happened. Whether it's the loss of a grandparent, pet, friend, or a change in family dynamics, grief can shake a child’s sense of security.
As parents, caregivers, and counselors, we have the privilege and responsibility to help guide young hearts through grief with gentleness and truth. We don’t need to fix their pain—but we can help them bring it to the One who promises to be near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18).
Recognize: Let Them Feel What They Feel
Children often cycle quickly through emotions—sadness one minute, laughter the next. This doesn’t mean they aren’t grieving “correctly.” Young children, in particular, process grief in small bursts. What they need most is permission to feel their feelings without pressure to “move on” or “be strong."
Give space for tears. Validate their anger or confusion. Let them know it’s okay to feel sad—and that Jesus felt sorrow, too (John 11:35).
“I know it hurts. It’s okay to cry. Jesus cried too, when His friend died.”
Engage: Express Feelings Creatively and Spiritually
Grief is not just emotional; it’s spiritual and physical too. Children may not know how to say what they’re feeling, but they can often show it.
Encourage creative expression:
Drawing or painting feelings
Creating a "memory box" of photos or letters
Writing a simple prayer or letter to God
You can also use storytelling, puppets, or role play to help a child name and externalize what they're experiencing. These practices help children engage with their pain, bringing it into the light of God’s presence.
Let them ask questions. When they do, resist the urge to over-explain. Offer age-appropriate honesty and remind them that it’s okay not to have all the answers.
"I don’t know why this happened, but I do know God is with us and He cares when we’re sad."
Grow: Walk Slowly Toward Healing and Hope
Grief doesn’t have a timeline. Children may revisit their sorrow months or even years after a loss. What matters most is that they don’t walk alone.
Use bedtime as a time for connection and reflection. Read comforting Scripture together like Psalm 23 or Isaiah 41:10. Memorize short promises of God’s presence and peace.
Help them identify signs of healing:
Being able to talk about the person or pet they lost
Sharing memories with less distress
Asking faith questions with curiosity rather than fear
Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It means learning to carry the memory in a way that honors love and welcomes God's comfort.
“He will tend His flock like a shepherd; He will gather the lambs in His arms…” —Isaiah 40:11
Final Encouragement
The R.E.G. process (Recognize, Engage, Grow) gives us a framework to gently guide children through grief. We recognize their emotions, engage with them meaningfully, and help them grow in grace and hope.
Grieving children don’t need perfect answers. They need safe people. They need a steady presence. And they need reminders that they’re not alone—not now, not ever.
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." —Matthew 5:4
If your family is walking through grief, we invite you to consider discipleship counseling. Our grace-based approach helps children and parents process emotions, explore their faith, and move toward healing in a safe, Christ-centered environment. Learn more or schedule a session at www.christian-counseling.org.
